by Christina Luddy Colton
“And so I said, ‘JUST DO IT anyways!’” John explained, describing a recent triumph of overcoming his fears at posting a powerful blog. Over the past 6 months, John, a well regarded expert in coaching Fortune 500 firms on how to best express opinions in public forums, had been diligently building a better relationship with himself – what I would call his broader perspective, to overcome self doubt.
I’m sure the idea of John working on self-doubt would probably shock his clients, as well as his many followers on Twitter and Facebook fans, who rely on his expertise. Like many high achievers, (and you know who you are), to the outside world he appears confident and strong, while inside he struggles with “measuring up” and “getting it right.”
John’s not alone. We all hear this self-doubt voice when stepping outside our comfort zone. You know, the voice that tells you, “Are you really sure that’s good enough to publish?” or “What will people think about you if this is a stupid idea?” It’s generally required in making desired life changes, professional or personal.
Often, what happens is you write the blog until it’s 95% complete and then keep it in your “drafts” folder. Or maybe you read others’ blogs, articles, brochures, etc. on the same topic or business venture idea and psyche yourself out from moving forward by saying to yourself, “Why bother; it’s already being done!”
From my work as a coach, I’ve witnessed 100’s of people, like John, build the courage to take risks and step outside their comfort zones. Also like John, most people I work with are highly successful professionals, from senior board members in leading organizations to entrepreneurs with thriving businesses. One interesting commonality among these individuals embarking on change is that all have, in some way, cultivated a sense of confidence through some form of supportive inner dialogue. This supportive inner dialogue serves as a “pep talk” unique to them alone. Some phrases such as, “I tell myself to just get on with it!” or “I have nothing to lose!” are common. Yet how they interpret, get inspired by, and take meaning from them is completely unique.
A majority of people emphasized that although part of them felt fear or self-doubt, they chose to listen to another voice providing a more freeing and broader perspective. Like John, they chose to override inner criticism and seek advice of this broader perspective. They also utilized this broader perspective to spur them on, take action, or respond differently to circumstances that typically get in their way of success.
In our work at Your Source Connection, we support people in cultivating a relationship with their own broader perspective. This relationship utilizes their own trusted resource for gaining insight, inspiration, courage and perspective on daily life.
Cultivating a relationship with your broader perspective
One way to cultivate this personal support system is to begin noticing, documenting and understanding how this trusted resource works for you. Here’s a quick activity to support you in developing this understanding.
Journal Activity: Think back to a time when you stepped outside your comfort zone, took a risk, or made a big change. Write down your answers to the following: What helped you to take this step? What did you tell yourself, at the time, that was supportive or helpful, no matter how strange it may sound now? What worked for you?
For example, when moving from Boston to Phoenix, I frequently reminded myself of how pleased my late Uncle Paul would be that I was carrying out his dream of living out West and owning horses. Now, as I look back, this reminder inspired me to take the risks that someone I loved and admired never had a chance to live out.
Once you’ve completed your writing, ask yourself, “What else?” and continue your reflection. Next ask, “What wisdom from this previous, successful experience, might be helpful in applying to a current situation or desired future change?
Consider periodically using this activity on your life’s journey in further clarifying the wisdom from your broader perspective.
